I Was Hired As A Teacher…Then Asked To Join A Cult (Part 4)
How my international school in Thailand tried to force its teachers to join a Theravada Buddhist foreign educator cult...and why I'm concerned about the same thing happening in Massachusetts.
If you need a refresher on this story, please read parts 1, 2, and 3.
At Panyaden, all the “loving-kindness” was just a show. The school was well-versed in how to run a good show. The founder, Khun Tik, or Yodphet Sudsawad, is a Thai movie producer. The school’s marketing team is top-notch, and their YouTube videos, Instagram, and Facebook are filled with excellent photos and videos of students and staff looking happy and fulfilled. They also host many events, performed on the main sala’s stage, as a perfect spectacle for current and prospective parents.
Despite all this preaching of wanting a diverse workforce, the school struggled with the I in DEI: inclusion. You can imagine why. When the school trickle-truths its staff on how conservative a sect of Buddhism they follow, staff hired with different perspectives, or of different faiths, were pushed out over and over again. In my 2 years at Panyaden, about 10 teachers either left or were pushed out by the administration. I was probably only kept around because I knew what the hell I was talking about when it came to EAL policy — a necessity when WASC was coming a-knocking.
I worked on the ground to educate my fellow teachers about what Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion was really all about. Despite everything that they claimed, the school was rude and dismissive to staff of color, especially Black foreigners and Thai staff.
Despite being an international school, no one in admin worked to focus on DEI. No one knew what DEI was even about. It’s not about marketing a variety of faces. It’s not to create a United Colors of Benneton ad.
It’s about not falling into group-think. It’s about accepting folks of different faiths. It’s about listening to a variety of perspectives on an issue, so that the environment can become more equitable to all. All things that Panyaden did not want to do.
Here is a DEI Workshop I ran for teachers as part of a Teacher Toolkit professional development series that another staff member started. I talked about what DEI stood for, what oppression is, what intersectionality is, and invited participants to share their “spicy” takes on the school:
This workshop, in my entire teaching career, was probably the most effective educational experience I have ever participated in. I got teachers to share how Thai staff was scared to speak up in meetings. I got teachers to share how the school’s lies about its religion had negatively impacted them, including a Christian woman who felt that her faith was not respected. I got a teacher to speak out against staff that were discriminatory to a performer hired for an event who was transgender. I got teachers to unpack their knapsack of privilege, like Penny McIntosh. I got hardcore Buddhists to question the policies of the administration. Both of them, whom you can hear on the recording, eventually left the school due to their anti-vax views conflicting with the admin’s policies after COVID-19 requiring all staff to be vaccinated.
The school loved its events, and nearly every week there was a new one that distracted from the weekly instructional schedule. Their biggest event, their final performance every day, was “Blossom Day”. My first year, the event was scaled back due to COVID. However, in my second year, it was back on as usual. This apparently included essentially turning students into child actors for nearly a month, as Khun Tik brought in her fancy filming crews including craft services (not for children; only her crew).
This was the final nail in the coffin for me.
On my final day at Panyaden, I emailed the entire Executive Leadership Team and the primary school department. Here is the entirety of the internal memo:
When the email was sent out, I decided to take a trip to the local coffee shop that many teachers went to on lunch breaks. I figured my presence on campus would not be welcome, and I was right: staff members messaged me saying that Primary School Principal was on campus, running around franticly on the phone, seemingly trying to find me. I assume that the phone call was from someone in the ELT, wondering how this had been allowed to happen. I avoided him as if I was on the run from the law, ducking into classrooms of sympathetic teachers’ rooms.
When I returned back to my office, staff congratulated me for speaking out. One Thai staff member, who had sent my letter to a friend to translate in its entirety, threw her arms around me and hugged me with tears in her eyes. The support of the ‘real’ Panyaden Family was strong, and even though I am no longer in Thailand, I think often about the staff there and their wonderful, kind hearts. It is such a shame that Panyaden attracts such good-hearted people, and bleeds them dry.
I also worked to warn others about the school on International Schools Review, a paid service for international school educators to read about different schools around the world. Here is the review in its entirety:
Though brimming with potential, Panyaden is not ready for its international school label and is frankly a confusing mess to work for. Right now, it is resting on good will from its marketing, aesthetic, and ride-or-die parent and teacher 'lifers' rather than its value as a place for learning. It still has lots of remnants of its small, insulated school past it has yet to grow from, and some older staff and administration is resisting much needed change to create a quality educational institution. Unless some amazing changes happened in the year since I worked there, I would not recommend it as your next international school stop unless you are just starting out and can deal with a lot of BS.
I will start with positives. Firstly, the campus is beautiful and has been the subject of many news articles praising its sustainability and green design. It is shown off in all the marketing material because it is one of the better aspects of the school, though some of the design choices are odd for a classroom and can be impractical for day-to-day work. The staff at Panyaden are truly kind, wonderful people. At the very beginning of starting here, especially if you are not very hippy-dippy, you might feel put off by the vibe. But when you get to know staff on a more personal level, you do find great, genuine relationships here. Food provided by school is great. The general ethos of the school is nice: trying to encourage use of recycled materials, outdoor exploration, fun hands-on lessons, and curiosity about the world. There are some students that do thrive in this environment. Students are happy if nothing else (though we'll get to that later). Though the big picture is overall not functioning well, there are a few tiny glimmers of the eco-conscious, inquiry-based, free spirit and love that the school is trying to evoke. It's only that they miss the mark more often than not that ruined the experience of Panyaden for me.
The school is owned by a wealthy couple who built the school as a pet project. They have a vision that, though interesting, does not fit with the nitty-gritty of running a rigorous school for hundreds of students, and is overly focused on the aesthetic of barefoot, smiling kids running around outside connected to Mother Earth rather than the educational and practical needs of the institution. The school director seems to be a friend of theirs and is not an educator, so she is nowhere to be seen except for major events and a handful of meetings. It's only when you get down to the two principals that you get to any educators in the chain of command, so the higher-ups rely a lot on them to run the school (with unchecked power). The school has clearly shifted as it's grown. Old-timers are mostly new-age, free-spirited hippies to fit with the aesthetics of the school, while newer staff when I was there tended to be more grounded and practical. There seems to be tension between those who long for the small community of the past with fewer obligations, fewer professional procedures, and little attention to academic rigour, and those who have come into a larger school hoping to compete with top-tier international schools with few resources and little that has professionally been put in place.
The secondary school, from what little I know of it, is quite reasonable and is doing well in beginning its journey into IB. Staff there whom I speak to seem content and feel supported by secondary admin and leadership team, but there are definitely bumps in the road, and the secondary division is very, very new, so not every kink has been worked out. The secondary principal is new blood as well (relatively), and is charismatic, professional, and practical. The two principals when I was there were not on good terms and tended to avoid speaking to each other as much as possible, so primary and secondary operated in a bubble as secondary was being created. I can't speak much to the secondary school, so the rest of the review is on PRIMARY ONLY. Early Years is also within this sphere and faces many of the same issues, but I cannot comment on its specifics either. It also seemed to be distancing itself somewhat with more prominent EY positions in the org chart as I was departing.
One incredibly important part to understand about the school is that it markets itself as a 'Buddhist values' school. Often, new hires or interviewees are told that you do not need to be Buddhist to work here, that Buddhism 'is not a religion', that it's only about believing in common sense things like 'loving kindness', or many other things to downplay the fact that this is a religious school. Make no mistake, it is. They follow an extremely conservative branch of Theravada forest Buddhism that, if believed entirely, would conflict with any other faith or non-faith you have. I found sometimes foreigners (myself included) were convinced before arriving that the school would respect their beliefs because of Buddhism's reputation for tolerance. I learned the hard way that a Buddhist school is not some liberal paradise because it claims to be peaceful and kind. It would be one thing if this school was honest about how religious it truly is, and looked more scrupulously for those who were already part of the faith, but rather it trickle-truths how important being adequately Buddhist is (or at least not critically examining the faith and how it is presented by the school). The religion was often used when I was there as a cudgel to punish and berate you if you were too critical of admin, whereas those who were quiet on admin never got told how 'un-Buddhist' they were. I hope they become more transparent about the religious aspect. However, I'm not hopeful, as it's not that easy to find foreign teachers who are already conservative Buddhists. Rather, they seem to hire vaguely liberal people (often young white women -- hiring/firing diversity was a real thing my fellow poc foreigners noticed) and hope to wear them down into submission.
One mandatory part of working here is that you must go on a 5 day meditation retreat every year. You will be told in your interview about it, but often the interviewer won't mention key details, such as that it is meant to be done completely silently for 5 days and will require doing religious rituals which might go against your beliefs/nonbeliefs such as bowing to Buddha statues 100s of times a day, and chanting about the greatness of Lord Buddha and the existence of karma and nirvana as undoubted truths. You are not allowed to eat after 12PM, read non-Buddhist books, wake up past 5 AM, do anything entertaining, wear anything but white and black clothes that make everyone look like prisoners, sit in the front of the sala if you are a woman, leave the retreat area, or contact anyone outside the retreat. It is not a secular retreat simply to learn how to meditate or learn how to better educate the students on Buddhist values, at least in the two years I experienced it. It is, from a non-Buddhist perspective, incredibly grueling and cultish, can cause or flare up possible mental health issues (and there's no safe space to go to if you need help), and promotes pseudoscience such as healing meditation. Even those who have done retreats before have said this was nothing like their previous experiences. Staff has offered reasonable means of making this retreat more beginner-friendly and secular. The response was to separate the retreat into a beginner and experienced retreat. However, having gone on both options, the beginner one was MORE difficult than the experienced one. They thought it was beginner-friendly because you got electricity and a bed, but its schedule involved longer stretches of unguided sitting and walking meditation (sometimes up to 3 1/2 hours long), being scrutinized by your superiors who are also present, and is over time physically and mentally draining. It is something that I cannot explain, as unless you experience it or have previous experiences with cult-like social groups. It is indescribable how much this experience of sleep deprivation, food deprivation, lack of ability to communicate, lack of ability to ask questions or critically engage with the 'teachings', lack of access to non-religious information and books, etc. will make you doubt your senses and autonomy. I've seen people walk out of this retreat and have full on mental breakdowns. Admin and the more hard-core Buddhist staff sees most people that criticise this retreat as 'not working to improve themselves' or 'not able to handle living without the luxuries of smart phones and comfy beds' as if we are spoiled children. Criticism of this retreat has nothing to do with the absence of luxuries and everything to do with the manner in which you are forced into a situation where you are going through brainwashing practices that check off every box on the BITE model, and all of this nonsense just so you get to keep your job teaching children who don’t even know how to read let alone the basics of meditation! If you like the idea of this retreat because it aligns with your beliefs, then it’s no problem, but if you are wary of these types of practices, beware.
The school had retention issues. Staff is overworked, stressed, and exhausted. The burnout is severe and the higher-ups are so used to leading the school with mostly stick and little carrot. Those who are quality professionals often were so disappointed by the lack of organisation and professionalism from the leadership team, they left as soon as their contract was up if not earlier. Staff circulated plenty of horror stories of people being let go on flimsy grounds, or leaving suddenly because of the intense stress from the confusing and toxic environment, or leaving in protest due to bad managerial decisions, even years after certain people had left just due to the drama and chaos. During my 2 years here, I had seen upwards of 10 staff members leave or be pushed out before the end of their contract, with little fanfare or reason given, and this seems to have been the norm for many years. Even if they don't leave mid-contract, many teachers want to just stick it out long enough to make some good money and get enough stuff on their CVs to get out. The school is actually pretty great with hiring, but conflict with the great professionals they hire because they push for change and better practices. When I was there, I felt the primary school principal was to blame. In my opinion, he was the most horrible, sniveling, incompetent headmaster who checked off everything on the "bad manager" bingo card. Now, I've heard higher ups have had no choice but to shuffle him away to a less significant role, but I would count him getting himself into everything to this day in the dumbest, most un-zen way possible.
The school in general was very disorganised, and miscommunication was rampant. New teachers felt like they were hit with new deadlines and interruptions to the daily routine on a weekly basis with little warning and planning time. It is very sink-or-swim, and admin seems to forget that not everyone is a returning teacher, so they neglect to support new teachers in learning the ropes and push that responsibility mostly onto returning staff who know what TRULY lies ahead. It's ironic because the school year begins with endless hours of teacher training but later on you'll realise most of it was useless. Certain entitled parents have direct communication with the principal and will bypass any communication with teachers so that the principal will placate them with long, closed-door meetings where the teacher's decisions or professional opinion will not be supported or heard. You might hear that one of these meetings took place months after it happened and have no idea that parents made a complaint at all until it's too late. Most events and deadlines feel rushed, and most projects have a 'jack of all trades, master of none' quality to it. It is very rare to have a single, 5-day school week go by without an event, or holiday, or testing, or performance, or deadline, or some other distraction from actual teaching that was thrown together in the 11th hour, and students never get into a good routine because there's some new surprise every week. Often they are so badly planned that you wonder why 4 periods were cancelled for it when it could have been done in 1.
In terms of teaching, the school is a mish-mash of curricula that few are trained to understand or use resources from effectively. The school wants a host of really interesting programmes and strategies implemented, but hasn’t trained teachers on how to do them properly, so every class just does whatever it wants with teachers of various ability and with varying success. Going from one classroom to the next is baffling; some teacher might be doing elaborate hands-on and student-centred lessons, while another is doing basic bare-bones lecturing and going through the motions, while yet another is just showing videos and handing out worksheets. Only which teachers were the 'favorites' was what counted when I was there as to how hard they pushed you to work. Work hard, but try to push for the wrong changes? They'll tell you every tiny thing they don't like. Do whatever the heck you want, but don't rock the boat? Then they don't care what goes on behind your classroom door! Luckily, if you are a quality teacher, this lack of oversight makes it easier to do what is best, but for students, it’s a luck of the draw if the class is run well and efficiently. This also contributes to significant learning gaps from students who are just pushed along even if their academic skills are 2-3 grade levels behind.
Discipline at school is also a huge issue. Students are always running around in dangerous or unsupervised areas in the name of 'exploration' and safeguarding concerns related to knowing the children's whereabouts and preventing them from doing dangerous activities are not taken seriously. There's a distinct lack of boundaries and an understanding of what is acceptable behaviour in relation to conduct with teachers, other students, classroom supplies, and other people's possessions on the part of students. The principal says we should just use “common sense” for what should and shouldn’t be allowed, but everyone seems to have different 'common sense' and he seems averse to the idea of creating a basic set of campus rules. If you try to say 'no' to any kids, you'll be the bad guy, as they'll turn around to some other teacher who says it's okay. A lot of immature behavior even from older students who never got consequences for their actions. Their "conscious discipline" policies were nonsense when I worked there (and I am a huge positive discipline/Montessori advocate) and everyone that wasn't Team Panyaden raised concerns that dangerous or inappropriate things could happen due to the laissez-faire attitude.
Last but certainly not least, the school is CHEAP. Their finances are in shambles and they have huge cash flow problems. The school has committed to too many large-scale and expensive building projects to expand the campus with no money left for decent resources. Their admissions process has basically become a rubber stamp for anyone to join because they're just desperate for any kind of money. They rely on a lot of large-scale donations from one or two board members for many building projects and programmes. Anything necessary for the day-to-day workings of a school was cheap, cheap, cheap or nonexistent.
Overall, the negatives of Panyaden outweigh the positives. My recommendation would be to work here only if you're trying to break into the international school world and get some experience, and you're willing to keep your head down. Find some way to remove the stress of this place, whether it's anti-anxiety meds and sleeping pills or beach and hiking vacations every month. If you're somewhat competent, you can often teach in peace and just keep collecting that paycheck while doing the bare minimum and trying to tune out the constant disruptions and miscommunications. Chiang Mai is a beautiful place to live and there's plenty of things to do. The school campus is genuinely beautiful. Some groups of kids are absolutely wonderful. Some of the staff is wonderful and you will find many intelligent and kind-hearted people. However, if you start questioning things, no matter how great a teacher you are, your life will become a living hell, and expect absolute pettiness (I'm sure if the school catches wind of this review, they will be petty about it, too). If you have tons of international school experience and you know your stuff, or you can't work in an environment that requires intense work for little payoff and no acknowledgment, stay clear of this place.
I hope this review gave other educators pause. Unfortunately, those who don’t pay for this service probably did not see this review, and thus were sucked into the Panyaden Vortex. I send loving-kindness to those who are still there, or who have been convinced to work there even for a short time. I am convinced that no educator should be put through what I went through.
But in part 1, I hinted that I was afraid of something similar happening in the US, specifically in Massachusetts schools. Why?
Will continue in my new series: “Mass Schools Aren’t A Cult…Are They?”!